A Skewed Sense of Breakfast

Through my awful sleeping patterns, I am often awake at the early hours of morning. When you're up at 7 or 8 AM and haven't eaten anything for 6-12 hours, it's not unusual to be hungry. Several days ago, I found myself in exactly this position. It was probably closer to 7 am, I'd had dinner around 12 hours previously, and I was absolutely famished. My stomach gurgled and groaned; making noises not unlike that of a dying whale.

So from my throne upon which I sat, I rose and left the warm comforts of my room and ventured through the early morning light - navigating through the rec room to the stairwell where I could creep forth to look for present parents. Having seen that none where home - both having left for work - I stole to the kitchen to look for food. Leftovers! I found garlic bread to reheat in our bread basket, and frozen chicken patties in the freezer. I popped both into the toaster oven to heat and went venturing into the pantry to look for a snack to hold me over for 15 more minutes. Lo behold, I found a Chewy granola bar, dipped in chocolate. I of course then dunked it in the peanut butter jar; because everyone knows chocolate is better with peanut butter.

So now, I've got 2 slices of garlic bread and a chicken sandwich, plus a granola bar. But I was still hungry after my granola bar, so I opened a thing of Easy Mac and tossed it in the microwave. While it was cooking, I wanted something else. Applesauce was the obvious choice here. Drinking my applesauce from the jar made perfect sense to me, while my easy mac was cooking.

Finally, I never knew 3 minutes could take so long. My microwave doesn't work for the instructions on the container - water boiled over the edge and made a mess everywhere inside the microwave - ew. I had to clean that up while attempting to shovel fake macaroni and cheese down my throat. Between these two adventures, I'd forgotten about my garlic bread (sad) and it was overcooked. I ate like half of it, but it tasted like char plus a little bit of butter. Plus it was hard, so into the trash it went.

Finishing my mac, my chicken had finished. So I popped it onto a bun, smothered it with ketchup and took a massive bite. Too much; so I run to the fridge, grab the gallon of skim milk and take a nice gulp - once again too much, as it overflows from my mouth and drips down my chin, off my neck, and onto the floor. Oops, I forgot to clean that up.

And so ends my first skewed breakfast. The next morning, I was in the same situation. So of course, the logical choice was to rewarm leftover pizza, have more granola bars, additional applesauce, but also an ice cream sandwich and a twin Popsicle. I feel as though I ate something else the second morning, but at the moment, I can't recall.

The end.