I have always believed myself to be strong willed. I endured years of pain and depression on my own. I lost every person and everything I'd cared about. I walked my path alone. I believed that I was indestructible. That is, until you, MaKalea.
Your presence in my life changed me. Having you by my side; feeling your friendship for so long altered my life. I thought I was strong until I came to love you, then I realized how weak I truly was.
It's been nearly a month since you left my life, and I'm honestly amazed I have lasted this long. It doesn't get easier knowing that you hate me. It doesn't get any better knowing that I'll never have you back in my life. So many things remind me of you, and every time you pop back into my head, tears flood my eyes. I struggle to hold myself together; wishing that I hadn't been such a fool to lose you. Wishing that things had been different.
Today, I finally released the last part of you that I had. I finally found the guts it took to mail back the books you loaned me three and a half months ago, along with a letter that I can only hope you'll take the time to read.
I know that you'll never read this, but I'll always love and care for you. You stole the largest piece of my heart, and it's a piece you'll keep for the rest of my life. Even if I find someone else, I struggle to believe that any woman entering my life will be able to compare to you; and that in your shadow, everyone will be but a pale comparison. I love you, now and always. A phrase I've said far too many times before, but never meant as strongly as I mean it when I say it to you.
